How do you handle life’s changes?

As a nation we are witnessing such unprecedented destruction of life and property with these latest fires in Los Angeles, the hurricane Helene horrific destruction of life, and the Maui fires last summer. In each of these situations the loss and trauma has been beyond what we can imagine. And the safety net we thought existed in government intervention to help has proved to be nonexistent. What would you do if you were put in a situation like one of these scenarios? How would you handle things beyond your control taking everything you know as familiar away?

The mountains of western North Carolina were especially badly affected, and even now, several months on, they are still finding bodies, and discovering debries that needs cleared. I have to tell you that a few decades ago we spent a wonderful week in that region, staying in a condo on Lake Lure, visiting the sights like Black Mountain, and Chimney Rock, and ofcourse Ashville. We fell in love with the area, and the charm of its people. In fact we began making plans that one day when we retire we would move there to spend our old age. But at every turn something stopped us. We pursued the idea actively for at least a half dozen years, hitting dead ends, and a bit of frustration. In hindsight we both know we were spared the trauma of Hurricane Helene. We were fortunate that our best layed plans came to nothing. But how about the thousands who moved there, built homes and lives that were washed away in a flood of biblical proportion from a hurricane that hit deep into the mountains.

How would you cope? How would you have the courage to rebuild a life from the ash heap? From our own life experiences i can say here are a few thoughts:

• Remember even in the darkest moments there is always hope. Hold on to hope.
• Assess what you have left
• Thank god for sparing your life, and ask him to show you the next steps
• Find other people in the community to build an alliance with. There is strength in building a community.
• Accept help when it is offered. Be cautious that there is not a set of strings attached, but realize that there are good people that want to help.
• Baby steps – get your basic necessities together first, then begin to build on that.
• Pray, keep the faith.
• Eyes open for miracles. And when they happen record them somewhere… Miracles do happen every day. For us we remember so many times when the funds were short, and suddenly a check came in the mail for a few pennies more than the expense.
• Grieve the losses, make peace with the situation, and be open minded for the new direction God has you headed.
• Get counseling if you need it. These situations are traumatic, and they disrupt normal life. Like the stages of grief, we can get stuck in one of the stages, and need coaching to get beyond that.
• Remember that you are not alone, there is a community of friends there to help, encourage and cheer you on.

I can only say that the darkest moments are not where you will remain, but one day you will look back and see how far God has taken you, and how he has seen you through the rebuilding.