How do you handle change?

Change is all around us. Our very society is churning and evolving with new things almost every day. But how are you handling the changes that come at us, and upheaval our lives? Are you able to find your way through changes?

Looking back over my life it is clear that how i have handled change has actually become a skill. As a 20-something worker bee i was rigid, not easily able to adapt. It was a painful learning curve to discover that change can be good, and at least it can bring new opportunity. But i wanted to to figure out what happened in me to ease the blow of changes in life. Here goes a few points:

  • My attitude changed: Perhaps it was that first major adult life change that caused me to start thinking through my beliefs and working out what in my thinking needed to change. someone coined a phrase that makes sense: “Your attituded determines your latitude.”
  • I found a few trustworthy people to talk out the change, and to help me see through what just happened and how do we move forward. Its is important to remember that when change is sudden there has to be a time to process what happened, and to allow time for emotions to settle down. Good friends or trusted confidants will always speak truth to the situation.
  • Accept what was (past) but insist on moving forward to the future… never give up. In my case the door closed in 2010 to my career job in the hospital, but it opened so much better as i determined to move forward.
  • Make peace with that incident. For me it was a wrestling with forgiving a woman that obviously did not like me and found the reason to eliminate my job. I now see how this was a blessing in disguise. Dont hold on to anger, guilt or shame.
  • Focus on your values, and your strengths. Dont read into the change more than what was there…
  • Accept that life is somewhat unstable. Accept that change will keep happening.
  • Never allow fear or depression to settle in.

My list came from a very emotional time when both Steve and I lost our jobs as a result of the economic downturn in 2010. Jobs and careers are in our mind often tied to our identity but the truth is they are an expression of the skills and qualities we carry with us.

Whether it is a job that is changing, or the loss of a spouse, or any other of the million ways our lives are always in change mode, always remember you are unique, blessed with special skills and traits, and your value is in finding your own worth and accepting changes as they occur.