How to Navigate Life’s Unexpected Changes

What do you do when life turns upside down? In 2010 the year began like all years – both of us employed in our career focused work, but my the middle of the year we were both unemployed. The economic hiccup of the 2008-2009 financial market affected us both. The not for profit Steve worked for downsized him out of a job, and the hospital I worked for reduced staff. Its always fascinating to look back and realize how our lives were centered around the work we did, and the impact we felt we made. Then it was gone. So the question was front of center in our minds that year.

As we listen to friends, and see posts on Linked In it seemed this might be a good time to talk about how the rapid and unexpected changes (job loss, health diagnosis, death of a loved one) affect us. Its my short list of how we made it through.

When life turns upside down, stabilize yourself by acknowledging the shock, maintaining basic routines, and focusing on small, manageable goals. Prioritize self-care, seek support, and accept that it takes time to navigate the “new normal” and rebuild. 

Key strategies for navigating chaotic life changes include:

• Stabilize & Routine: Don’t rush to fix everything at once. Keep simple routines—like regular meal times or walks, or work outs at the gym—to build a sense of security and stability. For me it was important to get up at the same time as I did when I worked.
• Focus on Self-Care: Prioritize sleep, healthy food, and gentle exercise (like walking) to maintain your physical and mental health. Each of us have different needs for sleep – determine how many hours of sleep work best for you and protect that time.
• Control the Controllables: Identify what you can control, such as your daily schedule or responses, and let go of what you cannot. That is really a key piece of information to hold on to. Knowing what is beyond your control will actually make your thinking less complicated.
• Seek Support: Reach out to trusted friends, family, or professionals. Do not hesitate to ask for help. And know that everyone goes through some reversal, loss, or chaotic time. This is the time when you will also learn who your real friends are.
• Practice Mindfulness & Gratitude: Use meditation, prayer, or journaling to process emotions and stay present, rather than worrying about the future. For me faith has been and continues to be the most essential part of my life..
• Redefine Your Goals: Make a list of new, realistic goals that align with your current circumstances. Be realistic, and honest with yourself.
• Allow for Emotions: It is okay to not be okay. Allow yourself time to grieve and process the changes. And know that any form of grief will come and go. One day you may have thought you made peace with the changes, and another day it may creep up to try to sabotage your thoughts.
• Find your community – One of the biggest lies that creeps in when you are in these types of transitions is the sense of isolation. But you are not alone. Dont allow yourself to isolate – but instead choose to phone a friend, or meet for a cup of coffee/tea. Consider who you know and how their expertise may help direct your life.

Small Rituals to Consider or Develop

• Morning Pages: Journal to process, vent, and accept feelings.
• Breathing Exercises: Dedicate time daily to sit and breathe to reduce stress.
• Gratitude Lists: Focus on small, positive things in the present moment. 
• Phone a friend: Make at least one phone call each day – especially on those days when you are down.

Remember that you are valuable, not for the job that is gone, but because you have unique talents and gifts. Dont let major life events derail you- think of it as a course correction, to put you in a situation that is better. Joy will come. 16 years after our horrible year we can say we developed a small business that is doing well, we both did return to corporate America and worked for a few years but were able to retire to work our business. For me the disruption of 2010 was a watershed of new direction, and a profound discovery that we could start a business and develop a client base. The business is demanding, and Steve and I do it all – Production, logistics, marketing, accounting, supply management, taxes , shipping, website maintenance. The amazing thing is Steve and I complement each other on strengths, bringing our college education and work experience to the business.

One last thought – it is far to easy to point a finger at that one person you believe was responsible for the change of situation. Accept it, forgive them, and move on. Don’t give your energy to sustained anger about them. By forgiving them you free yourself to move forward and move on. They are no longer in your line of sight. You have moved on and its time for a New chapter, new opportunities.